Is It Hard To Get A Date Because You're Different?
by
Tonja Weimer
Would you like to date more? Do you find it hard to be different or look different from everyone else? Do you feel you don?t measure up to the standards that other people have? As Kermit the Frog said, ??it isn?t easy being green?? Kermit has a point. It isn't easy being green. But try taking a step back and considering the following: being different can be to your advantage. It can be the source of your growth; it can be the reason you begin to look at what you do have instead of what you don't have; it can become your greatest strength. Let?s look at some of the challenges we all face that we think keep us from dating and being successful singles: Difference # 1. Overweight None of us ever thinks we have a figure that is good enough. We have an inner mean critic chirping on our shoulder, reminding us over and over, that our stomach looks like a beach ball and our thighs wiggle when we walk. However--I have clients who consider themselves ?weight challenged?, being much more than 100 pounds over their ideal weight, and they still manage to find love. Very often, people can slim down without talking about their weight, but rather, making agreements around exercise schedules. When the focus shifts from ?How terrible I look!? to, ?How healthy can I be?? and ?I deserve to feel good!? the side benefit is weight loss. Be kinder to yourself if this is your challenge and use an encouraging inner voice to guide you to the help you need and want. Your weight challenge can be the motivating reason you get your life into a healthy mode. Difference #2. Money How many of you out there think you can?t find true love because you can?t afford it? How much money do you think you should have in order to date? Here?s the rule: you have enough money when you live BELOW your means and save something every month. It doesn?t matter how much you earn?what matters is how you live with what you have and how you put away for your future. There are plenty of great dates. In fact, some of the most romantic ones don?t cost a thing. (Read How Cheap Dates Can Make You Very Attractive on ezinearticles.com by Tonja Weimer.) Difference #3. Age Do you think you are too old to meet someone and fall in love? Do you feel that opportunity has passed you by? Usually, we feel old when: * We compare ourselves unfavorably to someone much younger than we are. * We haven?t loved ourselves for what is good about us, but instead, have judged ourselves harshly for what we don?t have. * We are not exercising and eating well. * We feel our lives are out of control from too much clutter, too much to do, and too many people we can?t please. Work on changing some of the above. And remember: whatever age you are is the perfect age to meet someone and fall in love. Difference #4. Looks Do you think you are just not good looking enough to attract the person you want to be with? Try taking a trip to the mall and watching all the couples stroll along. Do they really look any better than you do? Everyday, people meet and fall in love who do not look like Hollywood movie stars. Looks are influenced by how you feel about yourself and what you do to take care of what you have. Take a look at what clothes and colors can accentuate your best features. And never forget to exercise. That one activity alone can handle a whole host of concerns. Finally, while you may be focused on what is wrong with you, try shifting that focus to what is right. What do people come to you for? What are the qualities that people compliment you about? What have you accomplished in the last year that you are proud of? These are the thoughts you should be filling your head with rather than what direction your thighs are waving. It's not easy being green?but you can work it to your advantage. Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)
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